Hurricane
by ButWhatAboutMe
Summary: Old wounds are never forgotten, Hikigaya knows this well. He wears the battle-scars of his past proudly as reminders of who he is. Can the one who caused those wounds in the first place heal them?
1. Chapter 1

Hurricane

Hurricanes are the third scariest natural disaster in my opinion. Tsunamis and earthquakes have to be rated as first and second respectively, but hurricanes finish in a strong third place. Honestly that's not too bad if you think about it, I am after all in a solid third place when it comes to literature scores in my class. Tsunamis and earthquakes can be extremely deadly so it's only natural to fear them the most. A Hurricane's powerful winds are nothing to scoff at, but they are far less deadly than walls of water or falling buildings.

"…Hello? Hikigaya? Earth to Hikigaya"

That being said I'd much prefer to deal with an earthquake or, hell, even a collapsing skyscraper right now. Unfortunately, I find myself caught in raging winds I couldn't have predicted when I set out this morning. In fact, I don't remember hearing anything on the weather channel about Hurricane Orimoto blowing through!

"You're struck dumb? Hilarious!"

Now that I think about it, a forecasting service that tells people where unpleasant interactions are likely to happen would be useful indeed. Though for me, I'd expect a map which showed all of Japan to be a dull gray. An indication of the rotten society which we live in. Wow, that was quite the nostalgic utterance there wasn't it? Perhaps middle school never ends… Well, I guess a part of me thought that was cool. 10 Hachiman points.

"Hikigaya… all kidding aside, I'd like an answer."

Why Gods?! Why would you throw this situation at me? I'm not sure what I did to earn your ire, but I'll do anything to get back in your good graces. I'll beg, I'll grovel, I'll even tutor Yuigahama without complaint! Well… I honestly wouldn't be able to do the last one. But give me a _possible_ challenge, and there's nothing I won't do to get out of this situation!

"…Uh… I …"

Please give me a sign. Tell me what you want me to do, oh mighty Gods of Romantic Comedy.

"Look, that employee just put a sale sign in the window! That café is doing a 50% sale! Come on, just come sit with me."

Damn you.

That's not what I meant Gods and you know it…

"Ah, okay…" Well I might as well not anger them anymore. Perhaps their directions will become clear in here. Or maybe there will be a chance for me to escape somehow.

Following Orimoto at a slow gait, I entered the café. Resigned to my fate, I decided to get a good sense of what type of café this was. From the lack of uniforms, the patrons seemed to be mainly college students, almost exclusively couples. Looking up, I saw the name of the establishment "Café Mucho Amore". Dear God, it didn't get much worse than that. The 50% sale didn't seem quite so appealing, or even very surprising. I'd normally only eat a place like this if _they_ were the ones paying _me_. Obviously that never happened, so I'd never normally eat here.

Yet here I was sitting morosely.

Lost in thought, I'd somehow missed key events occurring around me. My eyes met Orimoto's first, and a slightly annoyed waiter second. Crap, they likely want my order. Sorry Mr. Waiter!

"…Uh, a coffee please."

"Very good then sir."

Heh. Not a bad recovery if I do say so myself. Though, I really shouldn't have been so distracted in the first place. But what can you expect from me. I still felt as though I hadn't recovered from her words. How was it in any way fair that she gets access to so much CC?! I've been disabled by her 'speech' move for like 10 minutes now!

I looked over at her, the long silence only now registering as strange. Well not strange for me certainly, but definitely worrying given the person seated across from me. Her gaze was firmly planted outside. She seemed focused on the blue sky speckled with clouds out the window. Her brown eyes suddenly swiveled and locked onto mine. A slight blush ran across her face and she squirmed just a bit in her seat. Any normal man would be putty at this point, but I'm not just any man… I'm a Chiba man! Strong, composed, attentive! I was not going to be bested, I was going to walk away from this, no matter what plan she had in mind.

I began my counterassault "So what have you been up to as of lately?"

A grin flashed across her face, it appeared that my choice of topic had been successful. I needed this hurricane to be pointed somewhere, anywhere, else.

While she appeared to be smiling, there was a certain hardness that came over her features.

"Trying to change the subject _now_ Hikigaya of all times? That's so like you, Hilarious!"

A perfect parry, shit. That was good on her part. Oh no, perhaps that was too good on her part. How can I deflect any more, especially when she called me out on it so blatantly? Curse you Orimoto, your bluntness has once again foiled me. I suppose I'll just have to-

"Let me try this again, I need an answer this time. Please Hikigaya, I know I'm being selfish… I wouldn't even blame you if you hated me. I've changed though, and I can't handle this feeling of needing to know. It sounds stupid, but I feel like a have a chance… a chance with you for something **genuine."**

I don't know if that was her or my emphasis on that last word. I just remember putting my coffee down very gently with perfect grace, not unlike a robot programmed to do that task, and that task alone. I sat absolutely transfixed at this girl. Once I thought that she everything I despised. The Orimoto I remember from middle school was shallow, dumb, and even cruel. But that was wrong, I was wrong. After getting to a see a different side of her after the Christmas pageant, my image of her had improved somewhat. That didn't mean I could have predicted _this_ from her. Our goals were the same, she wanted something genuine as well? What did that mean?

Rudely interrupting my thoughts, I felt a pressure. Not a painful one, completely the opposite actually. It was a hand that had snaked into my own, one that was pale and delicate. I glanced at it, mostly to ensure myself that life was actually unfolding in front of me. That I wasn't dreaming or dying in some hospital bed, only thinking about what could have been. I felt that pressure though, undeniably pushing the idea that this _was real_ , and that I had to do something.

I couldn't do this of course. Logic told me clearly that this was a very, very, very bad idea. I'd been torn asunder by this girl before, and I'd be damned if I let that happen again. I had to tell her that she was being ludicrous, and that I didn't even know where I could possibly begin. Resolutely raising my eyes to hers I had everything I needed to say all planned out.

Upon making eye-contact with her, my schemes were immediately blown away.

She was an open book to me. Brown eyes with small drops of water swimming in them, ready at any moment to break free and mar that beautiful face. A crimson blush, so deep that you could put a diving board above it and call it an Olympic pool. Tiny, almost imperceptible, movements of her hands and face belying an unmistakable nervous energy that was venting itself anywhere it could find an outlet. But her gently trembling hand never let go, not even for a second. But that blush didn't go away, not even for a second. And those eyes never wavered off mine, not even for a second. She was locked onto me, every fiber of her being held in limbo just waiting for a response. It was like she thought my answer was the most important thing in the world.

"Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face" was the saying that immediately came to mind. If I remembered correctly that was one from Mike Tyson, and how right he was. It was a little different in my case however. Instead of being punched in the face, I was socked in the heart. Hurricane Orimoto had torn my defenses to shreds. One powerful gust was all it had really taken to tear every word and plan out of my head and scatter them to the four corners of the world.

Three things happened at once. I'd like to say that they were… acts of nature, and therefore out of my hands. But that is, I suppose, deflecting responsibility for my role in all this.

First, I realized that no matter how hard I had tried to push her out of my mind, there was still a part of me that was interested in Orimoto. One that had grown since the Christmas pageant where I'd learned there was more to her than meets the eye.

Second, I felt myself squeeze her hand in mine. I'd like to think that I did it to try and calm her, and prevent any sort of scene. Realistically though I think I might have been scared that she would take her hand back. That pressure stirred up emotions I had blocked out for so long. There was a beast, unfed and angry in me. Taking advantage of his prison being destroyed and his captor distracted, the disgusting vigor of youth I'd stashed away deep inside took his chance.

Third, I threw myself upon my own funeral pyre. Not literally, though I do certainly wish I had right about now. Rather, I found myself agreeing to her request.

"I don't know if it's what you really want… But I'd be happy to go on a date tomorrow. It's not like I've got any plans anyway."

The smile she gave me was something I'll never forget. With the orange tint of a sunset just beginning its descent behind the horizon her brown eyes shown gold. Her smile was wider than I'd ever seen it, not that I'd seen it all that much before that.

"That's how you respond to a confession? That's gotta be the least cool way to do it Hikigaya, Hilarious!"

My trance like state was broken with that remark. What have I done? What am I getting myself into? How do I explain this? Do I need to explain this? Looking up towards Orimoto to ask one of the hundreds of questions bubbling away in my brain I saw her looking out the window at the clouds rolling in. After a moment she noticed my gaze and turned to me.

She smiled at me again. God what a smile, I can't look away.

The silence after our conversation lasted a long time. It stretched past the splitting of the bill. It stretched past the walk to her house. It only ended with a slightly blushing Orimoto turning to me to wave goodbye.

"Thanks for listening to my request, Hikigaya… I'll see you tomorrow right?"

I realized I was staring at my last chance to back out. But I found myself only further drawn in.

"Yeah" I merely grunted.

"Let me have your phone for a second… There we go, just email me if something comes up! Good night Hikigaya"

"…Goodnight Orimoto."

And so here I am lying in bed unable to close my eyes. Well not unable I suppose. It's just that the day replays itself every time I do. I want to die of embarrassment and jump for joy. Tomorrow is going to be the longest day of my life with or without rest. I'd really much rather sleep right now though. Thankfully I think that exhaustion will eventually overpower my adrenalin. Before I finally pass into the land of dreams I make a final prayer to my most important God, one who I know can help me.

Dear Lord,

Orimoto may be the most overpowered character I've ever run across. She's got a stun, a taunt, a snare, and I haven't even seen her ultimate yet. This is beyond OP, this is borderline game-breaking! Icefrog-sama, please nerf this character!

P.s.

Please buff Tusk.

And with that, I am asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

 _Thwap. Thwap. Thwap. Thwap. Thwap._

Well that's certainly rhythmic. It's kinda soothing in a strange sort of way.

 _THWAP. THWAP. THWAP. THWAP._

Now it's more than a little ominous. I think I liked the last version better.

 _ **THWAP. THWAP. THWAP!**_

Ow! What the hell was that? Where am I? Who's this terrifying old crone standing above me? Is that a scythe she's wielding? No, it looks more like a rolled up text. Hmmm, seems like I may have gone to hell. I suppose this was an inevitable outcome of my behavior. Wait, no! No I can't be in hell, I've a got date! I can't believe that the first time a girl asks me anywhere that I ha-

"Hikigaya. My office, end of the day. Complaints?"

Her eyes clearly stated that I in fact had no complaints, absolutely none. Those with complaints were advised to contact the funeral director about possible flower arrangements for their grave.

"No Ma'am."

Hiratsuka-Sensei was kind enough to deign one final glare my way before skulking back to the front of the room. Not wanting to draw any more attention to myself than I already had, I waited a few moments before glancing around. Yuigahama's eyes peered out from over her textbook at me, questioning my behavior. Well I'm sorry Yuigahama, I was asleep, so I can't really give you an in-depth explanation as to exactly what happened there. God, that girl was always so demanding.

A short burst of sound indicated the end of the day. A heroic attempt on the part of Hiratsuka-Sensei to get her last words out failed as a ruckus erupted from the excitable students. Sensei's eyes locked on me and a single, long finger curled inward towards her. A clear indication that I was to follow her. I trudged after her, like a cow that had been torn from a rather tasty bit of grass by a tractor beam. A particularly old and grouchy tractor beam. One that would probably never find a nice tractor beam husband to settle down with. Now all it does it tear cattle out of fields-

"Hikigaya, you've got a particularly stupid look on your face. Would you like to tell me _exactly_ what you're thinking about back there?"

Well shit. This sort of situation would be deemed 'sub-optimal' by the national foundation for massive understatements (or NFMU as I call it).

Sensei's posture seemed like a sort of physical manifestation of killer intent. She's looking at me out of the corner of her eyes, with her body not entirely facing me. Her fists however, are in plain sight. I would guess from way her nails are digging into her palms, that some of my internal monologue was not as internal as I thought. Or… worse, she has some sort of mutant telepathy powers. Clear your mind Hachiman, she can hear your thoughts!

"…Uh, I'm not sure what you're talking about Sensei. Is there something troubling you?"

Hiratsuka -Sensei let a long, drawn-out sigh escape. Seated at her desk in the teacher's office, her gaze softened somewhat.

"Okay, so what exactly did you do? You can tell me now, or I can fish it out of Yuigahama and Yukinoshita later. I promise that the former is a better choice than the latter."

Why would she assume that Yukinoshita and Yuigahama were involved? I guess it makes sense now that I think about it. I don't really interact with many people, so if something were to throw me out of my rhythm it would likely be them. It could just as easily be a personal problem, or some sort of outside influence though. Don't assume things so easily Hiratsuka -Sensei!

"Ah. It doesn't actually involve them Sensei."

"Don't lie to me Hikigaya. I saw your eyes at the beginning of my class. There was a sort of terror in them; a terror I know from experience that can only be caused by a woman. Trust me Hikigaya, I can sense woman-related-terror in a man from a mile away."

You know what Sensei? I believe you, I really and truly do.

Her posture was slumped again, and when she raised her head there was fire in her eyes. The heat of a furnace, fueled by the many failed relationships of her _long_ adult life, blazed out at me. How can she hear my thoughts!? Why is every woman in my life endowed with skills that are clearly counters to me? If I had known I was going to be counter-picked so hard, I would have specced differently!

"Ah, but I suppose you're right sensei. It is female related, but not necessarily related to the service club."

A surprised expression flickered across Hiratsuka-Sensei's face. She seemed to consider that for a moment, and then gave me a brief nod. She waited for me to elaborate further, something I had little interest in doing. I also had little interest in death however, and that seemed to me to be the most likely alternative. So, reluctantly, I began to explain my situation. Pausing multiple times to explain who the actors were, and why I was pretty sure that this wasn't all an elaborate prank.

"… So that's about the gist of it. I'm not sure exactly what got in her head, but I think that she's serious about this."

"And how do _you_ feel about it? This isn't a one-way street Hikigaya."

Ah. That's an excellent question Sensei… I suppose I have been neglecting my own thoughts on the matter. What do I want out of this? How can I even determine that? Let's start from the top.

Is this something that would benefit me? No, in many ways this was likely to have an overall negative impact on my life. I was going to have to explain this _over and over and over_ again. The mere thought of talking this through with Yukinoshita and Yuigahama made me want to nap from the sheer exhaustion of it all. So let's count that as one point against it.

Is this something that I think is a good idea? No, how could this possibly end well for me? I'll probably be creepy, or annoy her, or say something horrible and unforgivable. This is firmly planted in the category of bad ideas. That's another strike against it.

Now that I've established this is a bad idea that won't benefit me at all, there's really only one question left to ask. After which I can safely email Orimoto and call this all off. So let's finish our analysis shall we brain?

Is this something that I want? **Yes.**

Wait, where did that come from? Is that what I actually think? That doesn't sound like me. Wait… is that you, heart? You don't get a vote here! This is a conversation between me and brain. This discussion is not a place for emotion, so would you kindly keep your feelings to yourself? Let's try this again.

Is this something that I want? **YES.**

Shit. Maybe that was a fluke, I should try one last time…

Is this something- _**YES YES YES YES YES. YOU MORON.**_

Well, I guess the matter is decided. I suppose that I shouldn't have tried to _entirely_ remove my emotions from this discussion. But for future consideration _heart,_ a little restraint would have gone a long way. I wish you and logic would get along better. Stupid _heart_.

"… I guess there's something about it that makes sense to me. Well, there's something about it that _doesn't_ make sense to me. Maybe I'm interested in that, it's very confusing though."

I'm unsure how to describe the look on Hiratsuka-Sensei's face at that point in time. There was a softening of her features. She looked matronly, she almost looked at me with a sort of pride. The warm glow of late afternoon surrounded her frame, giving her an angelic air. Begrudgingly, I thought that she was a sort of guardian angel to me. Always there to help me when I needed it, give me advice when I didn't know what to do, and just generally assist in cleaning up the catastrophic messes I tended to make. She was a good person. Well at least deep, deep down, below all the violence. Hell if I'd ever let her know that though.

"Hikigaya, while your sentence structure was pretty appalling there, I'm willing to let it go this time. I think that statement you just made shows a lot of growth. Honestly, I'm pretty surprised that it came from you. Especially given your rather absurd tendencies to always make the worst out of a situation."

Gee thanks Sensei. I take back all of the nice thoughts. You're going to die alone.

"Ah… Thanks, Sensei?"

"No problem Hikigaya." She said with a kind smile. "Now, I would you think about how exactly you plan to tell Yuigahama and Yukinoshita about this."

Ah, yeah. I hadn't really thought that far ahead. Well I suppose I had, but I wasn't really able to think of a good way to do it. I'm not really sure what to expect out of them when they hear about this. Derision from Yukinoshita is probably a given, but what about Yuigahama I wonder…

"Yeah… Any suggestions about that Sensei?"

Another kind smile found its' way onto her face. This time, it seemed almost sad in a strange sort of way.

"Unfortunately I can't really help you there Hikigaya. This is something that you're going to have figure out on your own. Just trust your gut here. I know it's something you're not used to, but it's a skill you'll need in the future. So think of this as excellent practice."

Ugh, that was not the response I had hoped for. I suppose though that this discussion has been helpful in a weird sort of way though. Good work Sensei, maybe you have what it takes to be a teacher after all.

"I see… Thank you Sensei. You know, you're surprisingly good council when it comes to romantic matters."

"What is _so surprising_ about that Hikigaya?"

Her previously warm countenance immediately dissipated. A dark, unearthly aura began to envelop the room. Its source, of course, was an old woman; one who had tried and failed innumerable times to have a meaningful relationship of her own. A woman who was now moments away from being put in prison for the murder of one of her students. To save my poor, fragile body I sprang into action.

"I mean, I'm just surprised a woman as _young_ as you, would be so sagacious and wise about the ways of love!" Whew, good work brain! This is why I rely on you so often. Heart, please take notes; if you could save me as often as brain does, I might listen to you more.

"Hmph. I suppose you're right on that count Hikigaya. Now, I think it's about time you headed to the service club. Your club mates are likely waiting on you."

"Ah, yes. Thank you for your time, and your advice Sensei."

I think I meant that part. She may be a violent, lonely, old crone, but she has a good heart. Someone please take her, I'm currently otherwise occupied!

As I trudged out of the room, I heard a gentle sigh. Turning to take one last look at my mentor, I saw her back was towards me with her eyes out the window. She seemed to be lost in thought, looking out at the cold field below.

"If only I had been born ten years later." A soft whisper as I closed the door behind me.

Now onward to the real test. I'd escaped the dangerous and violent pitfalls of the Sensei arena. Now I was going to have to work through the derision and questions of the service club. I felt a pit forming in my stomach. The walk down the hallway seemed so long, but somehow I wish it was even longer. I needed more time to collect myself and my thoughts. Before I knew it however, the door to the club stood before me. It looked a bit like the gateway to hell, but I suppose at this point I'm just being dramatic for its own sake. Well, here goes nothing…


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

The doorway is an insurmountable obstacle. I'm sure it's locked. I mean it hasn't ever been locked when I tried to open it before, but it probably is now. And even if it isn't, it's unlikely that either Yuigahama or Yukinoshita is in there. I could just go home and play some vita until tonight. I should just dread that alone, in silence.

Probably for the best, I mean… it's not like the there's two people in there who could possibly help me with this situation. Two people who have already dealt with the worst I have to offer. Two people who have forgiven me multiple times for my mistakes. Two people who I'm probably closer to than anyone not in my family.

I just want to make sure that it's perfectly clear that I'm not trying to get out of going club. And even if I was, I'm sure I'd have a very good reason for it.

It's certainly not because I'm afraid to upset the delicate balance behind this door.

I exhale. This is something I have to do. I don't want to lie to them, and lying by omission counts unfortunately. Instead of listening to the little doubts in my head, I push through the door into the room.

* * *

Yukinoshita and Yuigahama are sitting next to one another. Warm I'm sure, thanks to the blanket shared between the two of them. If not for their both being female, I'd feel embarrassed for clearly walking in on two lovers sharing a tender moment. The clubroom, though nippy, has a relaxed atmosphere. I think I smell just a tinge of tea in the air.

It's a pleasant experience, walking through this door. I don't often enough stop to appreciate it like I should.

A somewhat surprised Yukinoshita glances up at me. The smallest tilt of her head indicates she's curious, probably about what exactly sensei needed to talk to me about. Yuigahama looks at me with the same surprise in her eyes. Holding what I assume to Yukinoshita's book, she looks somewhat taken aback by my entrance.

Am I really that stealthy guys? I must have been outside the door for a while. It certainly felt like years to me. Speaking of which, what's with the silent treatment?

"Hello Stranger-kun. I believe it is customary to announce yourself when you enter a new abode."

This is a classroom Yukinoshita, not your house. Though from your positioning relative to Yuigahama, under a blanket no less, you _do_ seem to be enjoying 'domestic bliss'.

"I'm sure we've already met Yukinoshita."

"Oh, I don't recall meeting a truant who would be called to his teachers' office after school. That would tarnish my reputation. Yet somehow you know my name. Very suspicious of you Hiki-Stalker-kun."

"So you do know me. You added my name to that last insult."

"So _you_ admit your name is 'Stalker', or is 'Hiki' an insult?

Damn her. I feel stupid having walked into that.

Slumping into my chair, I sigh discontentedly at my decision. Why did I even come here in the first place?

"Oi. Layoff, I'm exhausted."

"Oh, and why is that Hikigaya-kun?"

There was killer intent in her smile. It was a different killer-intent than the one sensei possessed. Yukinoshita looked to me like a cat that intended to play with wounded prey.

"Is it possible you were living up to your name Stalker-kun? Perhaps I should phone the police, I worry for our safety here with you."

I glared at Yukinoshita. It must have been harsh, as she reacted immediately. Drawing her head back, the dangerous smile she had moments earlier was gone.

"I'm sorry Hikigaya-kun, that was perhaps more harsh than I had intended."

Another long-drawn out sigh escaped from me. I seem to be doing that a lot today.

"No, it's fine Yukinoshita. I didn't sleep much, and I've got a lot on my mind."

There we go, one step at a time. Getting started is the hardest part after all. At least I hope that's true. This has already been a lot more work than I'd like to commit.

"Is that why you fell asleep in class today Hikki?"

"Yeah, I had… I had a very strange encounter yesterday."

Two steps. Just keep moving Hachiman.

"Oh, I would expect most of your encounters to be strange Hikigaya-kun."

I frowned at her. Don't ruin my momentum woman! Somewhat unexpectedly, she succumbed almost instantly to the pressure from my grimace. I suppose I have to forgive her. I think in her own way, she was trying to make me feel better. You're going to need to work on your social skills though Yukinoshita. Most people wouldn't put up with your atrocious treatment.

"Didn't you think that a person as strange as I, would naturally be able to effectively pick out the _truly_ strange occurrences Yukinoshita?"

She paused for a moment, considering my point. With a small nod of the head she replied.

"As horrifying as is it to say such a thing out loud, I am inclined to agree with you. Truly, you seem to have no depths to your depravity."

I smiled inwardly. Perhaps I'll have to take that last statement back. You somehow made this easier Yukinoshita. With nothing but insults you've improved my mood. Perhaps she's right, there is clearly something deviant and wrong with me.

"Yukinon! Stop interrupting, I want to hear the story!"

"My apologies Yuigahama, I will try to refrain from talking for a while. If this man says anything outrageous again however, I may not be able contain my scorn."

"I've never seen you contain your scorn once. I'm not sure you're capable of it."

As if challenging me, she held my gaze and stayed silent. Touché Yukinoshita.

"Hikki, finish the story! Who did you meet? Was is it Zaimouka- something?"

"Ah no actually. Do you remember when we had to help Iroha with the Christmas event?"

"Yes of course we do Hikigaya. It was not that long ago."

"And do you remember the girl on the other student counsel? The one always saying 'SORE ARU', and all that junk?"

"Kaori-San, at least if my memory serves."

I closed my eyes. This was definitely going to be easier to say without having to look at either of them. Why is that? Probably because I can't predict what their reactions are going to be, and I can't say I like that. I'm not sure exactly what to expect from them. Laughter? Anger? Apathy? _Jealousy?_ As I begin speaking I realize that not only do I not know what they'll do, _I don't know what I want them to do_.

"Well I happened to run into her yesterday. After talking for a bit we went into a café, and sh-"

Halfway into that sentence however I felt as though the world was closing in around me. From what seemed an impossible distance I heard the sound of what sounded like a practice of some sort. As I steeled my nerves to continue, that sound seemed to fade further into the background.

"She said a lot of things, and then took my hand…"

I felt the pressure of the world rushing in on me. I raised my head, and opened my eyes. I saw two pairs of orbs staring directly into mine. I couldn't remember the last time I'd seen either of them so focused on something. I had an insane urge to laugh at that point. I stood at the very edge of a precipice where I couldn't see the bottom.

The world had compressed in that moment to: the room, Yukinoshita, Yuigahama and I. No one moved, no one said anything, no one blinked.

I dove into darkness that awaited me. Let's see what happens.

"She confessed to me."

The silence was deafening.

* * *

After what felt like eternity, Yuigahama reacted first with her usual enthusiasm.

"WHAAAAA!? What did you say Hikki!?"

Yuigahama flailed about as she asked, bumping into Yukinoshita. The physical act of being pushed seemed to snap Yukinoshita out of her daze. She quickly followed up.

"Yes, and how _exactly_ did you respond to this person's advances Hikigaya-kun? I would like to hear your answer _verbatim_."

Yukinoshita's blue eyes blazed at me. They dared me to respond, no… there was no request in those eyes. She wanted an answer, and she wanted it now.

Woah. That's Haruno-level scare tactics right there Yukinoshita. If I wasn't planning on answering that before, I certainly would be now.

"Well, I couldn't tell her I felt the same. I did agree to go on a date with her tonight though. I wasn't sure exactly how to respond…"

"Do you… feel the same Hikki?"

"…. I don't know. I hadn't really thought about it before yesterday. It's a little soon to be making grand judgments I think."

Both of them slumped back into their seats. Yuigahama with an unreadable poker face. Yukinoshita with her hands on her forehead. It was as though a great weight had been lifted off their shoulders. Well, it wasn't as if I didn't feel better too. It was actually good to talk about that, I didn't realize that I'd feel this much relief.

Yukinoshita smiled at me. I wouldn't say it was a cruel, or even a mean-spirited one. It was however, lacking in the warmth I'd normally seen for the last few months.

"Perhaps you'd like to leave club a little early today Hikigaya-kun? I'm sure _you_ especially will need some extra time to prepare yourself for your… date."

Looking at the clock, I realized that she was right. That talk had taken longer than I'd expected it to. I need to get going, figure out my outfit, and maybe break into my reserves for tonight. All this sounded exhausting after the day I had. Why hadn't I just said no in the first place!?

An annoying buzzing filled the air. I looked to Yuigahama to answer her phone, but found her looking right back at me. There was a smile on her face, but it didn't _quite_ reach all the way to her eyes.

"You should answer that Hikki."

Oh, she was right, that was my phone. Not my fault that I'm unused to people messaging me. Opening my phone I saw Orimoto's address.

 _Hikigaya, we forgot to arrange a place! Meet me at the station at 8:00 and we can figure it out when we get there! :)_

 _-K-chan_

…Is that how she signs her messages? I hope that's automatic, because if not… Well, it's pretty damn embarrassing.

Another buzzing interrupted my thoughts.

 _Ignore the K-chan! That's just my signature!_

 _-K-chan_

Again, my phone went off. This girl is nuts.

 _Ugh… That looked kind of dumb didn't it?_

I smiled. That was actually kinda cute. Are cute things happening to me now? Well this is certainly a new stage in life.

A soft cough roused my attention. As I lifted my head, I once again found two pair of eyes staring at me. Yukinoshita with a smirk on her face, Yuigahama a concerned smile.

"Oh my, aren't we popular Hikigaya-kun. Would you like to read those out loud to the rest of us?"

"Just had to get one last one out didn't you?"

"As I have already assured you, my repertoire is endless Hikigaya-kun. I doubt there will ever be 'one last one'."

As I was about to respond I remembered I needed to get going. After checking the clock I glanced back to see Yuigahama looking at me, with a slightly blushing Yukinoshita looking downward.

"I should get going."

I took another deep breathe to clear my thoughts.

"Thank you for listening to me today. It's nice… It's nice to be able to talk to you about things."

'Nice to be able to talk to you about things'. What a way to phrase it Hachiman, you have such a way with words.

"Bye Hikki! Tell us how it went!"

"Farewell Hikigaya-kun."

Okay, now I've only got one challenge to overcome.

* * *

Well, that was not what I was expecting when Yuigahama-san told me that Hikigaya had fallen asleep in class.

This is obviously not the optimal way for this to turn out however. I cannot let matters stand as they are now.

"Yukinon! We have to go spy on that date! What if she's a weirdo, or trying to trick Hikki, or something!?"

Hmm, an interesting point Yuigahama-san. Hikigaya _is_ an idiot in many ways.

"We do not know where he's going Yuigahama-san, so I don't think we're able to 'spy' on him."

"I already emailed Komachi! She'll give us the details, he _has_ to tell her."

How devious of you Yuigahama, well done.

"Very well, email me when you have the information. We'll meet at the restaurant they go to. Plan for an 8:15 meet-up."

I don't know why I have such a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. There are three reasons that I can think of for feeling this way. I don't like the sound of any of them.

Stupid, Nincompoop, Hachiman.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

Judging from the deep orange tint in the sky, darkness was approaching. Luckily I was almost home, so it didn't both me too much. In fact it's something that wouldn't really have registered with me normally, but I'm desperate for any distraction I can find.

As I looked out at the sun, its outline became blurred and then fizzled into the ground. It seemed like a good metaphor for the day actually. When I woke up the sun was glaring directly into my eyes. The light immediately gave me a killer headache. It felt as though it was the first challenge of my day. "Go back to bed Hikigaya, you can't possibly withstand today if you can't even handle me." As its light disappeared across the horizon however, I felt the passions of the day likewise fade and sizzle out. After all, I'd managed to talk to just about everyone who mattered on the subject. I'd gone out and conquered the demons instead of running away. Somehow it felt like an accomplishment to even still be standing. Looks like I win, eh sun? Come back tomorrow if you want to try again.

Now I just to get my act together and make myself look presentable. Easier said than done however.

I rounded a corner and saw my house down the street. So close to my sanctuary, and yet it wasn't really sanctuary today. It was just where I'd go to get a checkpoint and new equipment for my next battle. Just saying that made me feel pretty worn out.

No, bad Hachiman. You have to try today. Remember that there are no checkpoints, every hurdle you encounter has to be dealt with individually. There are no re-dos unfortunately. I suppose it wouldn't really be any fun if I could just keep replaying a section until I got it perfect. Now that I think of it, I'd probably die of boredom retrying some of the harder sections. Though, I would like _some_ retries, maybe not infinite however.

As inane thoughts crowded my head, I put my bike away and strode towards to door. Upon entering I was greeted with an unexpected barrage of noise.

"Oniiiiiii-chan!"

Oh, and what exactly was this? Not that I was opposed to a little sister showing her brother due deference, but I was certainly not used to it. This little sister of mine gets away with far too much disrespect now that I'm thinking of it.

"Yo."

"Onii-chan is it true!? Do you really have a date tonight?"

Oi. How is it possible that she knows? There's only one explanation for this. Yuigahama, you traitor! I can't believe that she was so quick to tell Komachi about this. Actually, that's not surprising at all if I think about it. Yuigahama knows I probably wouldn't tell Komachi about this right away. It's not as though I don't want her to know, but I am a little worried that she'll get her hopes up too high. I don't want to disappoint my precious little sister. Now I'm under so much more pressure.

"Yeah" I sighed. "It's true alright."

"That's not how you're supposed to say it! You should be happier! Finally someone is making a move on my garbage Onii-chan! I'm so proud of you!"

Hey, come on now… some of that really cut deep you know.

She's right though, I need to try and stay positive. After all, someone actually asked me out. For it to be Orimoto of all people, there's almost a sense of karmic justice to it.

"So who was it Onii-chan? Yuigahama didn't tell me who after all. Give me some details!"

"Ah. Actually it was a girl named Orimoto Kaori."

Komachi went through a series of emotions very quickly. It started with confusion, her brows arced upward and she bit she lower lip, seemingly trying to remember where exactly she knew that name from. Judging from the way her jaw dropped, the second was pure and total shock. Quickly after she tilted her head down, her arms shaking. When she looked back up, she looked at me with confusion and… was that disappointment?

"Hey, Onii-chan. That wouldn't be the same Orimoto who hurt you so much in the past? It isn't, right? You're not going to let yourself get hurt again… are you?"

I'd say that I'm fairly resistant to being shocked by the world around me. Understanding the rotten core of humanity has lead me to accurately predict a great range of behaviors. In general, this means that I'm ready for things that most other don't see coming. Unfortunately it seems I was totally unprepared for scenes like the one in front of me.

My little sister's face, all scrunched up, seemingly about to burst into tears in just a moment. It was one of the most touching things I've ever seen. I know that we may argue and bicker at times, but it was this sort of moment that reminded me why family is so important. She wanted to protect me, to keep me from making the same mistakes again. She was perhaps the only one who had any idea how much Orimoto's rejection had hurt me in the past. She'd watched as it shifted who I was, into who am I.

Truly, I have an amazing little sister.

My first instinct was to try and shield her from the damage of an affirmative response. To make sure that she didn't have to worry about me any more than she already did. Such a heartwarming response on her part though has earned her the truth. Not that I'd really want to lie to her in the first place.

"Yes Komachi it is the same Orimoto. This time however, you don't need to worry. This time is different."

Strange, the conviction in voice was real. I really believed that this was going to turn out okay, and maybe even turn out well. I think that conviction convinced even my doubtful little sister. She relaxed her expression, and it morphed into a quizzical one.

"Why would it be different this time Onii-chan?

"Well for starters this time she asked _me_ out."

Komachi considered this and gave a short nod. Indicating for me to continue, she stayed silent.

"Well… honestly, that's the only concrete fact that I have to go on. But there's something different this time, something _good_. I can't explain it in words, but I have this really good feeling. Besides, I've learned from the past and I won't repeat the same mistakes this time."

She nodded at me, her expression hard to read. In a strange way it reminded me a lot of how Yuigahama looked in the clubroom after I told her and Yukinoshita the news. It was a smile that didn't light up her face like it usually did. This being the second time I saw it, I think I understand it better now. She was happy for me, but there was real concern over how this would turn out. I got the sense that her concern was different from that Yuigahama's, but still directed towards me and my well-being. At the core of it, they were worried I'd go back to way that I was. I couldn't blame them, it was certainly something that had crossed my mind already.

"Well… if you say so Onii-chan. Now let's get you prepared! We have a lot of work to do before… wait when is your date again?"

"I need to be at the station by eight."

"Tonight!? Onii-chan, why didn't you tell me this sooner? We don't have nearly enough time!"

And just like that, I was bustled off to my room by my sister in a mad rush.

"Onii-chan, put this on! No, not that! Come on, I need your help if we're going to get this done in time! Noooo! You can't wear that undershirt, it doesn't go well at all with the shoes you're going to wear! Are you even trying garbage Onii-chan!?"

After a valiant struggle I found myself dressed in, what seemed to me, a horrifyingly bland and boring outfit. Komachi, surveying her work, however seemed to approve. She gave me the thumbs up.

"Alright, you actually look halfway decent Onii-chan! Oh that was worth a ton of Komachi points!"

"Saying that I look halfway decent, is just saying that I don't look ugly. Are you saying that I normally look ugly?"

"Well you don't really have any fashion sense Onii-chan…."

Oh, right in the heart. Komachi, I think you should consider joining the JSDF as a torturer. Your strong suit would be breaking the will of any enemies of the state. Actually, I feel like that's the sort of manga I might read. A cute little sister character who is also a torturer. On second thought, I can't see that sort of manga _not_ being creepy. I take it back, I wouldn't read it. Well… I wouldn't tell anyone I was reading it.

"Gee, thanks for the confidence boost right before I go."

"Don't worry, if she liked you before she's gonna go nuts for you now!"

That's a weird smirk to have Komachi. I don't think I like where your thoughts are.

"Alright, I'm off. Wish me luck."

"GOOD LUCK ONII-CHAN!"

And so I trudged to the station, it's time for the final boss.

* * *

I found my smile falling off my face as Onii-chan left. What was he thinking? I remember what _she_ did to him, so why can't he? There's something wrong here, I know it. No one can be so hurt, and then just let it go soon. I remember being so confused as to what was happening with him. I'm ashamed it even took me so long to remember who _she_ was.

Onii-chan, something is wrong here. I don't know what her plan is, but I refuse to believe that anyone who would put him through all that could possibly be a good person. I _know_ that they can't be. So even if he's blinded by old feelings I won't let myself be hoodwinked. Don't worry Onii-chan, Komachi will protect you.

I'm sorry Onii-chan, but understand that I'm doing what's best for you.

* * *

How much time before Hikigaya's … date? Ugh, the very concept of him going on a date fills me with a sort of existential dread. How confused must the poor Kaori girl be if Hikigaya is the one she's interested in? Especially since I doubt she's seen his, remarkably few, positive character traits.

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Oh, and who might be texting me? I would assume it's Hikigaya to tell me that he's been canceled on. Don't worry Hikigaya, I won't tease you _too_ mercilessly. I won't let you forget either though.

 _Yukinon, emergency! I just got a text from Komachi, apparently Kaori is REALLY bad news!_

'Bad news'? And just how bad are we talking about Yuigahama? Given that I can actually read your message for once, I'll assume you're _very_ serious about this.

 _Apparently Hikki already confessed to her in the past. Komachi says that she turned him down and broke his heart! She said that he changed after that. I asked for more info but she told me to ask him! T_T/ Yukinon, we have to stop her before she does something awful to him!_

He... confessed to her? Of course, this is the final piece of the puzzle I was missing. I knew there was something fundamentally wrong with this situation. It must be that Hikigaya has been blinded by past feelings, and he's letting it cloud his usual rational judgment. How can we deal with this?

The best option would simply to be stop the date all together. We could confront them at the restaurant and drag him out by force. We could even cause a scene if necessary.

No, that's too similar a thought to what he would do. I won't stoop to that level to save him. I'm afraid of what he'd do after that as well. Would he hate us?

Stop. Don't think about that now, I can't get distracted.

The second choice would be to quietly shadow them, and to try and gather evidence as to exactly what she's planning. It would also us to console Hikigaya should something bad happen. That would be ideal actually, perhaps we might even change him for the better from all this.

I could picture the scene now. A despondent Hikigaya quietly weeping into my shoulder. My hand gently brushing his hair, soothing him. Him looking up into my eyes, reaching out to me. His desperation to have _something_ , _anything_ to hold onto. He wants me to be that something…

A blush slowly spread across my cheeks. What was I thinking? Hikigaya, my… whatever he was to me, needed me now. Yuigahama, my… friend, needed me now as well. I had to take action.

 _Yuigahama-san, don't worry I have a plan. Do you have the location of the date?_

Little time passed before a response.

 _No she asked and said he didn't have a plan! She did get that they were meeting at 8 at the station._

Damn, this made things more difficult. Leave it to Hikigaya to not have an adequate plan in place for the date. For this Kaori girl to be perfectly fine with that left me even more suspicious. Why would she agree to a date with him, especially with no plan in mind?

 _That's fine, we'll need to meet at the train station at 7:55 then in order to make this work. Can you do that Yuigahama-san?_

I didn't even have to wait for a response.

 _Yes! Don't worry Yukinon! ( 0_0 )_

Good, looks like she's serious about this.

Desperately trying to chase the embarrassing thoughts from earlier out of my head, I finished my preparations in silence. I strode out the door, trying not to think of what it must have been like to be confessed to by that stupid boy.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5:

Love is a strange concept. There seem to be so many different ways to describe what it entails, how it's expressed, and even how you can tell if you're feeling it. It's such an important part of our culture, but it's still so, like, nebulous and hard to describe. If you think about it, even with all the books written about it, and all the research we've done on it, we're no closer than our ancestors to figuring out exactly what it means to be 'in love' with someone.

I watched from a bench as a young couple held hands and looked silently into each other's eyes. It seemed kinda strange to me, and it felt a little weird to be staring at them. They were clearly in their own world though, and didn't even realize I existed. I didn't hear them saying anything, but I got the sense that there was some meaning passing back between them. I wonder what it was, I wonder if it was important.

I felt a shiver pass through me as the wind gusted past. I don't think I would have paid them any attention just a few months ago. Or if I had, it would have just been in passing. I've been noticing a lot of changes in myself since that Christmas play we held with Sobu. I think they go even further back, all the way to the time I first saw him in that restaurant.

I was totally shocked to see him with that beautiful woman, sitting totally casually and bored, like almost as if he didn't want to be near her. I never would have expected him to be hanging out at all, let alone with a beautiful older girl.

The first real tremor I felt for him was at the end of that "double date". Which really just involved me and my friend hanging out with Hayama. My friend still refers to it as 'the catastrophe'. I remember at the time being horrified and humiliated, but now I look back at it fondly. I got to interact with him meaningfully for the first time really, so I can't hate all of it. It made me see him differently, it forced a mental change in me that cascaded to where I am now. Really, that disastrous date lead directly to the one we're going to go on now.

The only thing I really regret from that was how I met his club mates. I'll never forget the look of contempt and scorn from that dark haired girl. Thinking about it now, she reminded me quite of a bit of the older woman I first saw him with. What separated them was their intent I think. The older one reminded me of cat playing with a mouse, like he was a toy to her. I remember her responses egging me on to tell her more. She seemed super nice at the time, but now I'm not so sure. I think she was getting me to mock him. It was like… my responses were only important for how they made him respond. That's pretty rude lady! Maybe I did realize it, and I went along anyway.

Meeting his club mate was a lot less fun. It's not _totally_ my fault though, those were some pretty bad circumstances. I don't think I've seen anyone so quietly angry before. The gleam in her eye was rage, pure and simple. She reminded me of a feral animal kinda. Like I'd wounded her cub or something. Not that the stare she gave Hayama was much different. There was, like, killer intent or something. She's one of the scarier girls I've ever met.

I felt myself shiver. Maybe that's just the chill in the air.

The chill pushed me even further down this train of thought. Back to the fateful event that lead us together again. The almost-train-wreck that was the Christmas event. Seeing him there was surprising enough, but what really caught me off guard was my reactions to his behavior. As the planning meetings continued, I could tell things were going badly. We never really made any progress in those meetings, in fact we usually just dug ourselves deeper into the hole we'd made. No one seemed ready to break the comfortable mold, to push us towards completion. I remember how I too just seemed to go along with the flow. We all knew what was going to happen in the end, but felt powerless to stop it. When he challenged everyone I was shocked. The memory of a quiet boy, one who had shook while he confessed to me all those years ago, was shattered into a million pieces. Something shifted in my mind, and my heart, in that moment. The Hikigaya I pitied was gone, the man in front of me was a Hikigaya I admired.

But admired was the wrong way to put it. I found myself thinking about him in a way I hadn't ever thought about someone before.

At first his interactions with his school's presidential were truly hilarious. A boy who seemed to be either completely obvious to, or maybe annoyed by, the advances of a younger beautiful woman. To top it off, that boy was Hikigaya! Hilarious!

I noticed however, that eventually it wasn't quite so funny after a little while. In fact the more I saw it, the more annoyed I got at her. Didn't she see that he wanted nothing to do with her? Maybe she should just back off!

If that was all, maybe nothing would have happened. But circumstances changed.

When the inky-haired girl returned with him one day I felt a whirlwind of emotion. Repulsion and fear started it off. I didn't want to remember how we had met last time. But those emotions were quickly replaced. Clearly she was sitting close to him. Flanked by the peach haired girl, I felt a sense of envy for the two of them. Given the way they talked with each other, Hikigaya had found friends. Perhaps, I worried, he had found something more. Why did that matter to me though? His love life wasn't any of my business.

It was when she had spoken up however that the mist cleared from my mind.

Her address was direct, thorough, and spine-straighteningly terrifying. She hadn't minced words, and got the heart of the issue in less than a minute. She'd broken our president's will to resist without even breaking a sweat.

It was not her words however that had cleared up so much. It was his reaction to them.

As she had finished her speech, he'd looked at her with a mixture of relief and admiration. Something I'd never seen on his face before, and she'd managed to elicit so easily. I felt angry and betrayed, confused and frustrated, envious and….

Well, it was then that I realized that primarily I was envious. That without even realizing it, I'd come to want him to look at _me_ like that. I think that was when it became clear I needed to do something about this.

When I'd seen him walking alone yesterday I saw a real opportunity. I couldn't have said what I said to him in front of his club mates. I had to say it though, I had to get it off my chest, consequences be damned!

I softly chuckled to myself.

Did I really fall for Hikigaya Hachiman? Hilarious!

I looked down at my watch to check the time, and saw _8:20_ starting back up at me. Was he really late to a first date? I suppose I'd asked him out though I couldn't get too mad. Maybe he was trying to be aloof? I giggled at the very thought. His personality was like 80% straightforward and blunt traits. He didn't seem to have a single synapse dedicated to being charming or suave. That was the best part about him though. He didn't lie to me, he didn't flatter me, his intentions were clear. My confusing feelings seemed entirely countered by his straightforwardness.

As I looked up again, I saw a figure locking up their bike in the rack. There were pretty nicely dressed actually. It seemed strange that someone dressed so nicely would ride a bike to the station. If I was them I'd worry about sweating and ruining my outfit. Given the heavy rise and fall of that person's shoulders they may have done exactly that. Well that's what you get Mr. Bicyclist! Next time, don't ride so hard in nice clothing.

As they turned their head upwards I saw that it wasn't a 'them', in fact it was _him_. A little gasp escaped my lips. In a bit of daze, I raised my hand to signal where I was. He noticed it, and began to jog over to me.

I liked Hikigaya's mind, his personality, and his quirks. Though I recognized I didn't know him as well as I should, I liked what I had seen so far. The man quickly approaching me still had all these things, but he also had something else entirely. As I scanned him from top to bottom I noticed the slim fit of his clothes, the attractive figure he cut against the dark night sky. Thoughts crossed my mind, and I pushed them back with a blush. Tonight was going to be challenging enough as, and I didn't need to be distracted so early on.

I reflected on what a strange turn of events we found ourselves in. The boy who had fallen in love with me and been scorned, had grown up. There was a part of me at the time that was confused by actions. I'd done nothing to earn his affections but he fell for me anyway. I'd turned him down, and until not so long ago… forgotten him entirely. Years later the situation had seemingly reversed itself on me. Now it was I who had fallen for a boy who wasn't even trying to get my attention. It's so embarrassing to think about this, but maybe I was being totally creepy. I must have seemed like some natural disaster coming out of nowhere and totally surprised him.

Wow, he was actually pretty cool now that I think about it. Instead of laughing at me, getting the perfect revenge, he'd given me the chance I didn't give him. Maybe he was the better person. Maybe that was what had drawn me to him in the first place.

As I mused, he ploddingly approached. A smile crossed my lips. He was a good guy. I mean, he was pretty cute, and by the look on his face he was pretty embarrassed about being late. I think I had a picked winner here. Good work heart, you might just be smarter than my brain.

And… I guess if he's the good one here, then that has to make me the bad one, right? If I remember correctly, the good one has to obey the rules. I don't think that goes for the bad one though… I guess that means it's okay to play a little unfair ^_~

* * *

The smile on Orimoto's face was plain unnerving. It had all the foxiness of Isshiki's, but there was something, somehow, _cuter_ than Isshiki's. It was warm and inviting, not showing a hint of annoyance that I was late. She looked like she was about to crack up at my appearance. Damn, she's good. It's just straight up unfair for her to have that smile in her arsenal.

She looks, plainly put, absolutely gorgeous. Her dark blue uniform seems to fade quietly in the night behind her. The lights of the station reflected back in her brown eyes look like a galaxy. The individual spots of illumination were shifting stars as she tilted her head to the side. Sitting atop the back-rest of the bench she was almost at level height with me.

As I approached she jumped down to meet me.

"Hey Hikigaya! A little late aren't we?"

As I prepared an apology for my unacceptable lateness, I felt a hand grab mine.

"Ah well, the past is the past right? Can't think about it too much. Come on!"

I felt once again the power of Hurricane Orimoto. A sudden gust immediately sweeping me off my feet.

With no time to react I found myself being dragged away from the station.

"Oi. Where are we going?"

"I don't know, but we'll figure it out!" She said with a grin flashing across her face.

I suppose I agree with that. I certainly didn't have time to come up with a plan. Well I suppose had all day, but cut me some slack. After all, I had to spend a fair amount my day dreading things. I mean, there was the talk with Sensei, the date, and also telling the club about all this.

I winced a bit at the thought of Yukinoshita and Yuigahama. I'm still not sure how to interpret that talk. _Something_ happened, what exactly that _something_ was… well, I guess this isn't really the time to think about it. Man, my backlog of issues to think about later is really piling up.

Orimoto must have noticed the slight flinch, as she looked at me.

"Something wrong Hikigaya? Do you not like me being soooo close?"

She moved in as she said it. My pulse quickened, and I fought the impulse to draw back. You really are trying to emulate Isshiki tonight aren't you Orimoto? Well you definitely get an A for your performance.

"No it's… good? I think."

"You think? Way to tank a girl's confidence Hikigaya."

"Oh… I- I meant… I mean – I… "

"Hilarious! I'm only kidding Hikigaya. I just wanted to see that blush. You should really work on your poker-face."

The smile she flashed was not a mocking one. In fact, I think I see traces of her own blush forming. Why say it if it's going to embarrass you too!? This Isshiki performance has to end! I don't think my heart can take it!

"Ah… well, it's a bit mean don't you think?"

She paused to consider it. Her sudden stop caused our arms became taught, and I considered taking the chance to break the grip she had on my hand. I didn't though, I don't seem to be capable of denying her.

"Maybe. Well I can try to tone it down Hikigaya. If that's what you want…"

In stark contrast to her words, her hand tightened its grip on my own.

Before I could protest however, she pointed with her free hand in front of us. Following her finger I saw… no way. She couldn't possibly want to go there. That's almost too funny.

"Hey Hikigaya, want to get some Saize? That place looks pretty good."

It was true, she wanted to go to some Saize place.

I began to laugh. It started as a chuckle in the back of my throat. As it moved through me I could feel my shoulders shake. A smile appeared on my face, and while I knew it probably looked gross, I just couldn't suppress it. I felt myself throw my head back and clutch at my stomach as I laughed and laughed. This was all too absurd.

Here I was, on a date with Orimoto. A date that _she_ had requested of me. A date which I actually accepted. A date which will now involve going to a restaurant. A _Saize_ restaurant of all places.

Now I'm not a mathematician, nor do I want to be one of those chumps, but I can handle the basics. According to my calculations, the odds of this happening are approximately ten-trillion to one.

I let the fear, absurdity, dread, and every other negative emotion I'd felt that day wash over me. I took a deep breath, and focused myself. Where my stomach just a moment before was a pit of anxiety and fear, I felt liberated now.

Orimoto was clearly confused at my outburst. Given some of the stares I was getting from passersby, she was not alone in that sentiment.

"Are you okay Hikigaya? We don't have to go to Saize if you don't want to. I just remember you had mentioned that time with Hayama…"

Oh wow, she remembered that eh? Not too bad Orimoto, you really earned yourself some points there. That almost makes this even more ridiculous, but I may as well roll with punches.

"Ahh, no that's okay. Saize sounds great actually. I'm just- I'm just surprised by how strange the last 24 hours have been."

Her expression betrays surprise at my response. Who's got the bad poker-face now eh?

"That's what all that was about?! Too much Hikigaya, you're hilarious!"

As she looks at me, we share a smile. That smile slowly turns into a chuckle, and before I know it I'm laughing again. Only this time she's joined in it with me.

I can't remember the last time I've done this. I can't remember the last time I felt this way. It's scary sure, but I think it's… good? I guess it might be worth it to expend a little energy to make this work.

With that in mind, I tentatively reach out. Scared of the response I might receive. I lock my hand with hers and squeeze.

She looked up and smiled at me while wiping the tears of laughter out of her eyes. That was all I needed.

"So let's go in there, don't want to let a line form eh?"

Sounds good Orimoto.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6:

* * *

A/N:

Yo guys/gals/attack helicopters. I've been reluctant to do an A/N so far, but I thought it might be a good idea to reach out and solicit some feedback from you guys.

I really appreciate all the kind words, follows, favs, and reviews. The reviews especially are really important to me, I like to read through them on a long day. It's pretty much what motivates me to keep on the grind.

So thank you to everyone who has shown support. I hope this continues to live up to your expectations.

* * *

 _I've never seen Hikki laugh like that. Not even once._

"Yuigahama-san, are you listening to me?"

"Ah, yeah Yukinon! Sorry I got a bit distracted."

 _I can't imagine what I would even say to get him to laugh like that._

"I can't say that I understand Hikigaya-kun's actions, but he did _seem_ happy. Perhaps we were wrong to follow along. Perhaps he's found his something… genuine"

The words dripped off her tongue like poison. Her face was scrunched up, like from a bad aftertaste.

"Ahhhhh, I don't know Yukinon…"

 _But that's not fair!_

"Perhaps we shouldn't go inside Yuigahama-san."

"NO! We have to Yukinon! Komachi said she's, like, really bad news. When is Komachi ever wrong about her brother?"

 _Who the hell does this 'Orimoto' girl think she is?!_

"Hmmmm, maybe you're right. I must say, this is very… confusing for me. I'm not entirely certain what the right thing to do is."

"We have to protect Hikki! We have to protect our friend! She's bad news Yukinon!"

 _But what if I'm wrong? I mean Hikki's… happy. Or at least he looks happy. I've never seen him like this._

 _Does that mean… I can't make him happy?_

* * *

The restaurant was not nearly as busy as I thought it might be. In fact, it's worrying how empty this place is. You'd expect tonight to draw at least reasonable crowd even if it wasn't very good.

The last thing I'd like to do on my first date is have a terrible dinner. This isn't the place to be.

"Should we just leave Orimoto? I'm a little worried how few people are here."

"Ah you're right, it isn't very crowded is it? Well that's to be expected. After all, it's 8:15. We're between the normal dinner rush, and the second one which happens when the train gets in at 8:30. It should fill up pretty soon."

Ohhhh? I hadn't thought of that. That was very impressive Orimoto, how did you know all of that? And all off the top of your head too.

As I mentally applauded Orimoto, the hostess came up and greeted us.

"Hello and welcome!"

She stopped for a moment, eyeing us up. Her gaze shifted from our faces to our linked hands, and a smile spread across her lips. She turned around, I assume to look at the current seating arrangement. After surveying the somewhat pitiful situation, she turned back to look at us. A subtle nod of her head seemed to indicate she'd finished whatever mental processes she had been engaged in

"Are you two on a date? That's so cute!" Her smile grew broader as a happy-looking couple passed by us. "In fact it looks like our best table just opened up. Would you two like the _booth by the corner window?_ "

It might just have been that her smile hit an apex as she said that line, with her teeth flashing like pearly-white knives, but I felt a distinct chill run down my spine. That booth sounded like something I wasn't high enough level to deal with. Looking over, I confirmed my suspicion. In fact, I'm not 'suspicious' anymore at all. I know that booth is evil!

Well… maybe evil is a bit of an exaggeration. It's definitely super worrying though.

It's shaped kinda like a small horseshoe. Unlike all of the more traditional booths in the restaurant, there's no natural divide between sides/edges. In theory one could slide all the way around the table, which might come in handy for larger groups now that I that I thought about it. However, those thoughts can go jump in a lake because this table would be useless for large groups of people. In fact, it definitely shouldn't even be used for groups of two people! Its problem lay in the fact that it was insanely small. So much so, that there was a 100% chance of near constant physical contact between Orimoto and I.

I shuddered as I thought of the damage I'd already sustained trying to keep my composure through this hand-holding. Trying to imagine how bad it would be; constantly bumping up against her, brushing her thigh accidentally… I couldn't take it! That option has to be plan 'Z'! I don't wanna!

 _'The booth by the corner window'_

I'm pretty sure that could be the name of a horror flick. I'm fairly certain that I've heard rumors about people dying in there. I'm moderately confident there's a ghost that curses who people who sit there. I'm somewhat positive that couples bold enough to take that booth invoke the wrath of the Rom-Com Gods!

Oh-my, no.

Let me repeat that…

No. Thank. You.

So in response to your question hostess-san –

"Yes! That sounds great, let's do that! Is that okay… Hachiman?"

No. Fucking. Way.

"Ah, yeah sure. Sounds good to me." I said, rubbing the back of my neck.

Goddamit all, why'd she have to call me Hachiman.

This girl is like my Kryptonite.

* * *

I was of course, completely justified in my fear of the dreaded table.

This level of proximity would be inappropriate for a married couple, let alone two kids on a date. What was the restaurant thinking, making this table so small? Does the owner have some really weird proclivities or something? I'm flattered that you want to watch me owner-san, however… I'd like to give my consent on something so personal first.

Well I suppose I did give consent by sitting here in the first place. I would like it stated for the record however: I, Hikigaya Hachiman, do not like this situation! I don't like it one bit.

Or at least I'd like to say that. But Orimoto… she's so close, and her arm keeps brushing up against mine.

Honestly this is probably a best case scenario for a loner like me. I mean, she's really pretty, like she looks gorgeous right now. Not that I think that or anything. I'm sure that's what a normie would think though.

But this proximity though, it's giving me the sweats. It's so gross, what if she sees it? I need to clear my head, but I need distance for that. No, I don't have time, I need to wipe my forehead _right now_. It feels like a waterfall is about to cascade down my face. That might be nice though, it might just douse the horrifying blush. It's feels like red ivy has grown up the side of my face.

Ah! I'm halfway insane, I need to do something!

Unfortunately as I moved to wipe my forehead, Orimoto shifted as well.

I felt my hand drag itself up her arm. Her smooth skin glided past my own, a delicate cloth wrapping my senses in velvet. Her eyes, downcast since we got into this devil-booth, snapped up towards mine. My instinct was to recoil away however, I wasn't really afforded the space to do that. I sat, locked in her eyes' vice like grip. She was so unbelievably close to me. I could feel the slight slither of her breath. Somehow, despite the already close confines of our environment, she shifted closer to me. Subtly, almost impossibly so, her face inched closer. It seemed impossible, like I was having a dream within a nightmare. The whole world became so much noise and movement. Everything else was suddenly inconsequential. I found myself thinking that there was not a single other important stimuli worth paying attention to.

I was wrong of course. Since we were, you know, in public and all that.

"…. _Mhhhmhmph!"_

The waitress cleared her throat, probably louder than she needed to. A number of heads turned towards us to see the source of the commotion. My blush, once a creeping red ivy, was now a blazing inferno spreading across my face. I turned my head down, this was too embarrassing.

"Alright Romeo, keep it in your pants. Or at the very least, order first."

Whoa, whoa, whoa! What's up with that Ms. Waitress? That's a totally biased and unfair accusation. Just because I'm the guy, that means that I'm the aggressor here? I did _not_ start that. Somewhere deep down there was a part of me that was ready to _finish_ that interaction… but hey, that's not my fault.

Musing that however, I realized that Orimoto probably _needed_ to be the one on the aggressive. I mean, I'm not exactly the quintessential 'alpha-male' stereotype that comes from the west. Actually, I'm much less action oriented that Orimoto. I guess she was the more 'masculine' personality in this case. Does that make me a girl? I bet I'd be a terrible girl.

Imagining what exactly a female Hikigaya was a pretty amusing thought. Would I just look like Komachi? Or would there be differences?

The idea brought a smile to face, but the smile was not reciprocal. The waitress made a face of disgust in return. Ha, seems like I took the smile right off your face and put it on mine. It's kinda like I stole your happiness eh? Well, you totally deserve it. Maybe next time, we don't pre-emptively insult customers based on gender.

Looking like she simply wanted to get this over with, the waitress went for our orders with little small talk.

"I'll just have the Udon please!" chirped Orimoto.

"Ah, I'll have the same actually."

The waitress, happy to be done with us, nodded and briskly strolled off. Probably to tell her coworkers about the disaster couple in the back of the restaurant.

Orimoto looked back at me and began chuckling, eventually started laughing almost as hard as we had outside.

"Oh, and what's so funny?"

"You Hikigaya! Isn't that obvious?" She managed to get out between peals of laughter.

"I don't think that ordering the same thing as your date is all that strange."

Though her laughter had just subsided, it began right back up again with that comment. I had to wait a full minute or two for this bout to die down. Come on Orimoto, some of us have stuff to do today!

"Oh, you still don't get it?" She tilted her head in confusion.

"No, I truly don't"

Nor do I want to, I think. But I suppose I've dove this deep down the rabbit hole. May as well hit the bottom.

"It's you Hikigaya! You just react in such a great way. Every time I think you've hit the pinnacle of funny things to say or do, you just one-up yourself. It's amazing!"

Ah, so, that's how it is. I guess it was a bit too much to assume I'm anything but a source of amusement. So, was all this just teasing Orimoto? That's too cruel, you shouldn't play with someone like that. In fact, I'll show you _'funny'_.

As I looked up to tell her where she could shove my 'hilarious' reactions I found her looking away from me. Before I could get my words out however, her gaze shifted back.

This girl is something else. I thought Yukinoshita's eyes were over-powered as hell, but Orimoto tops even that.

Instead of interjecting to tell her how I felt being used as a toy, I found myself listening to the end of her little monologue.

"But it's more that really. I think it's funny… it's funny how ridiculous this all is. I meant all the things I said to you. I want something _genuine_ , I want more than just friendship with you. I want to spend time around you. I want to hang out and go on dates, go to movies, and just sit around doing nothing. You're fun in a way I never thought I'd experience. You're smart, you know it, but I don't feel like you belittle those around you. You want to help people instead. I… I want you to help me. D- Do you think you could help me, Hachiman…?

The defenses I put up after the devastation of the first Hurricane Orimoto were stronger than those that preceded them. I put up my mental nostalgia blockers, just to make sure I wasn't being blinded by feelings of the past. I'd set reflexes to max, mostly to dodge any attempt at hand-holding or arm-grabbing (lewd). I'd repeated my loner mantra in front of the mirror to remind me who I was.

I was sure that they'd be no surprises. I assumed I would be able to parse things logically tonight.

I was, again, wrong.

No-one had ever said those things to me. No one had told me that they valued _me_. I was blown away, in every sense of the word.

My nostalgia blockers failed en masse. Old feelings from middle school surfaced like forgotten naval mines. I tried to navigate around them but myself bombarded with memories of sleep-less nights spent thinking about this girl. This girl… right in front of me. She was so close…

Reflex engines had failed as well. Somewhere in her speech, Orimoto had completely entwined around my arm. I felt her slender arm wrapped around mine, her fingers resting on top of the back of my hands. Her face, so close, tilted upwards towards me. So close…

I felt my loner-mantra bend. I felt the identity I had carved out the mountain of my life wash away. I felt the erosion of the rocks that had sheltered me from the ups and downs of life. Those were just memories now.

Did I even want to be a loner anymore….? I felt conflicted down to my very core. If I wasn't a -

"…. ** _Mhhhmhmph!_** _"_

The sound of a throat clearing wasn't actually as loud as last time. However, it felt like a cataclysmic, acoustic bomb to me. It shattered my whole train of thought, leaving me with a killer headache and some serious identity problems.

The waitress had returned. Plates in hand, with a scowl that seemed to stretch to infinity on her face.

"I apologize sir, it appears that 'Romeo' was unfair nickname to give you. _She's_ clearly the 'Romeo' here. Here are your noodles. Enjoy."

Well that's much better. I told you that I wasn't the aggressor here!

Wait, no that's worse I think?

"Ah, I'll be right back."

I walked as fast as I could to the bathroom.

* * *

Dinner was shrouded in silence after that. Not that I was particularly upset by that fact, it was really probably for the best.

It seemed a good chance to reflect on what was said.

That speech had been heart-rending. There was a part of me that told me to sweep her off her seat and kiss her right there. I think if I hadn't been interrupted that may have been exactly what happened.

The question then became, was that a good thing? Was I ready to accept a break from my identity? Who was I if I wasn't a loner? **Could I could I even call myself Hikigaya Hachiman if I wasn't a loner?**

 ** _"NO_** " said my brain. I'd once worked hard to mold myself. The whole point of this was that I wouldn't have to work hard again. My loner tendencies allowed me to have a peaceful relaxing life. I wasn't forced to go on dates, to spend hard-earned allowance, or do other menial activities if I didn't want to. The life I had was a good one. I was living the dream after all.

 ** _"YES"_** came from my heart. Maybe I could still be who I was, but better. Maybe being a loner was just what I had convinced myself was right. I think I'm having fun, isn't that what I should strive for? I mean, this date has been a lot of work, but it's also been fun. Maybe it's worth it to put some work forward, if it means I get to be _happy_.

I didn't know. I needed time and space, neither of which I felt like I had.

I saw the waitress come and lay down the check. It was an event that didn't really register with me. I was unable to spend the time to think about it.

Luckily Orimoto found the strength the break the silence that encircled us.

"Want to split it Hikigaya? We both got the same thing, so it's easy to break it up."

How chivalrous of you Orimoto. Somewhere, deep under the racing currents of thought flooding through my head, I gave her 10 Hachiman points.

It may have been my imagination but somehow Orimoto was even closer than before.

"Ah. Sure…"

I felt myself pull my wallet out, take a bill out, and place it on the table. To be honest, I'm not even sure how much I put down, I hope it was right. I don't think I can be blamed for any mistakes I made on this one. I'm more than slightly preoccupied after all.

"Orimoto, I think I should maybe head home. I'm… confused right now. I'm sure this isn't going well… I'm sorry for any inconvenience. You're amazing, and please know it's me, not you."

I stood up and bowed to her.

My words and actions seemed to surprise her. That seems fair as it completely surprised me too. Leave it to my brain to find a way of out this mess. Good work brain. A little less coherent as it went on, but a decent effort. 6/10.

Thinking it was a joke, she started to chuckle at me.

I couldn't take it though. I knew if she started laughing, I'd have to fight down the maelstrom of emotions in me all over again. I couldn't. I wouldn't. I had to get out of here.

So I did.

I only caught a glimpse of her reaction as I started to walk away, but it seemed to be pure and total shock.

I just kept walking, trying to escape the frantic pull of my heart. It tried to anchor me down with any emotion it could throw at me; guilt, fear, sadness, anger… I felt them all like a chemical cocktail merry-go-around in my mind. I kept walking though, even as her heard her shout my name.

I walked straight out of the restaurant into the cool night air. I needed somewhere to hide, somewhere dark I could collect my thoughts. I quickly turned down the alley next to the restaurant. I breathed deep, a crisp chill flowing through my lungs. The mist surrounding my thoughts seemed to thin. I was out.

I wanted to collapse, was I an idiot?!

I just, literally, ran away from the one person outside my family who had ever shown me any romantic affection. She'd said such wonderful things…

Too wonderful Hachiman. Too good for you, **remember that**.

After all, what could you possibly give to her? You're a coward, you're not special, you're an idiot-

"Hachiman you idiot!"

Ah thank you disembodied voice. So good of you to confirm my take on the situation.

As I swirled around however, I found the voice to be anything but disembodied. A fuming Orimoto, eyes brimming with tears was staring me down.

"What was that!?" She demanded.

I found my tongue seemingly unable to move. Or put another way, my brain had no idea what signals to send to it. It appeared that being clever and keeping my distance didn't work against Orimoto. My brain had no words left for this situation. Perhaps that was better, logic had no place here. Logic could help me bring form to what I needed. Using logic I could force an outcome from a situation. Good or bad didn't matter, what mattered was that it was used once I had decided a course of action. Here I was left floundering, drifting outward on a sea of indecision. Of course my brain was of no use, it had no course to set.

My heart however… well let's just say it was tired of being kept out of the decision making process.

I found my voice in a flurry of pent up emotion.

"I'm confused! I'm so confused by you! You make me question _who_ I actually am! I can't even begin to process _half_ the questions you've brought about since yesterday. What you said to me caused so many ripple effects. You flipped my world upside down in a single afternoon! Yet, none of this seems to faze you at all! To top it all off, you just probably said the kindest thing anyone has ever said to me. Why would you even choose _me_ anyway?! You're a beautiful girl with a good heart. I'm a cynical asshole who scares people off just by looking at them. This is _wrong_ , I don't deserve this. The only thing I dese-"

Somewhere in the middle of my monologue her expression had softened. I guess some part of her understood the reasoning behind my actions. It was probably the case she'd thought long and hard about all this before she talked to me. She'd probably had months to work all this out. I'd had about a day.

Her gentle expression changed when I brought the topic back to myself. My self-doubt and anxiety seemed to set something off in her. As I verbally destroyed myself, her expression hardened again. She steeled herself, and then acted.

The exact physics of the event still don't quite add up my mind, but I can certainly explain the result.

In one swift motion she closed the distance between us. Her hand gripped my collar and pulled me down to her mouth.

I felt an explosion of flavor and pressure on my lips. Orimoto's hand weaved behind my neck to ensure escape was impossible.

I'd like to lie and say that I was totally cool about it, that I handled it pretty well.

I did not.

As I realized exactly what was occurring, something primal awoke in me. I shut my eyes and kissed her back, and I kissed hard. To her credit, she didn't flinch.

As I broke away for air she pushed me back into the alley's wall.

She kissed me again, with even more passion than the last time. Her tongue had apparently declared war on me, sending an advance raiding party into my mouth.

With the incursion of this sudden, new, threat my tongue seemed to regain functionality. I battled back heroically, taking in every moment of what was happening to me.

I had always assumed that a girl's tongue would be smooth, but hers was course and rough. Don't mistake me though, neither of those was a bad thing. It grounded me in reality. This was not a dream. This was reality, and reality was _good_

After what seemed just a moment, but could very well have been many minutes she broke off.

She hardly looked like the Orimoto I had seen at the station. Her face was red, her hair disheveled, her breathing ragged.

I was enraptured.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7:

* * *

 **(Yukinoshita)**

 _Bitch._

 _Harlot._

 _Slut._

 _Strumpet._

 _Whore._

Rage like nothing I'd ever known welled up inside of me. I saw red. I could feel the blood pooling in my face. I could feel the emotional tidal wave that had been building in me for the last few days begin its decent.

My heart had been so long encased in a sheet of ice. A protective layer that separated my feelings from the cruel reality that surrounded me. It had taken me so long to build that layer up. I had managed to repel so many terrible things with that layer of ice. I'd survived for so long by ignoring the searing hatreds, petty jealousies, shallow admirations, harsh words, and devastating disappointments swirling around me. I'd survived for so long by being separate… before I met them.

Yuigahama, and _him_.

I'd found people who saw who I was, a dysfunctional and wounded girl. A girl who was afraid to face the outside world without a shield. They'd seen right through me, whether they knew it or not, and had accepted it.

Yuigahama was the closest thing I had ever had to a true friend. No, she _was_ a true friend. Standing here beside me, facing the same awful sight as me. She was probably hurt and confused right now. Yet here she was, facing down an awful visage with her arm shakily gripping mine. Watching _him_ … watching him throw away his pride.

I'd _respected_ him. I saw him as almost an equal of myself. Well, not initially I suppose. At first I'd found that resistance to change a rather pathetic attempt to absolve himself of the need to work. That was purely an initial assessment however. While I may not be proud of it, I was wrong in that judgment. Rather than being idle, he was simply resistant to move at the beck and call of others around him. As I gleaned more into his past, the reasoning became obvious. The same, or perhaps the opposite, problems that assailed me had wreaked havoc in his life.

The ruinous effect of others.

How the opinions and thoughts of others, so often _lesser_ s _,_ can come to define us. While I had to suffer on my own for being perceived as above the rank and file, he had suffered a similar fate due to being perceived as lower. But they were _wrong_ , oh so wrong, about him.

I'd admired his cold resistance to the shallow complements, the vein and pretentious preening of those around him.

He'd never sought out the praise he could have reaped from his work, not even when he deserved it.

He'd ignored the allure of my devilish sister. Her charms and wiles worked as well on him as they did a tree stump.

He's smart enough that perhaps he could have found his way into his own little group. He could have jockeyed his way up the social standing. With all his knowledge pertaining to human interaction one would think he could do nearly anything. In fact, on more than one occasion I'd realized how his tendency towards inaction was likely for the best. I'd seen him manipulate people without thinking. He _could_ be a truly impressive force. Perhaps one day he could rival even my sister.

But I knew that he never would be. That he never even really considered it an option.

 **Because he was better than it**.

And that fact alone intrigued me. I'd wanted to find out more about him.

Somewhere along the way I'd begun to… I- I'd begun to develop some feelings for him.

I'd let my ice begin to melt. Both for Yuigahama and _him_.

Surprise, surprise; look at how it turned out.

Look at him now, a common animal rutting with its mate in the street. What a dog. Disgusting what he's been turned into, and so quickly too. If it only takes one date to do this to him, he was never worth my time to begin with.

When he'd run out of the restaurant I'd felt a combination of confusing feelings. Sorrow, elation, guilt, and fear; everything had run through my mind in such a short span. To come out here and hear the end of that heart-rending monologue of his filled me with hope. A hope that maybe I was _right_. Hope that were similar, maybe even destined for each other. I'd felt that self-doubt and self-hatred before. I'd known crippling indecision, the feeling of not being worthy…

I'd wanted _so badly_ to go to him, right there and then, and comfort him. But that wasn't who I was, that wasn't who he saw me as.

And so _she_ did instead.

 _And. I. Will. Never. Forgive. **Her.**_

Yuigahama begins to tug on my arm.

"Yukinon!" She fiercely whispers.

"Yukinon, we have to leave right now!"

I can see the tears welling up her eyes. I know how she f-feels about him. I believe that she knows about how I feel as well. I can only imagine how painful this has to be for her.

I suppose we'll just leave this disgusting mutt to his **_bitch_ ** then.

But I can't move, I can't look away from this.

I find myself looking at their intertwined figures. Her pushing him into that wall, the aggressive bitch that she is.

I hear what sounds like the sharp intake of breath. An almost inaudible sound not unlike a quiet moan, emanates out of the darkened corridor. The shaded street where I watched the boy I love have his first kiss.

Another wave of emotion washes over me. I find it difficult to try and categorize exactly what I'm feeling. This one is similar to the anger I felt before, but distinct in its location.

Where before I felt the blood rushing to my head, I now feel it drop down. A cascading waterfall of energy and emotion running to my lower extremities. It takes every ounce of willpower to keep myself where I am. I know that if I let up my concentration, even for a moment, I will move over to where that insipid cow stands and take him for myself. I will break whatever shackles she's tricked him into and install my own. Damn the consequences!

I must stand rooted to where I am. Not only for my own dignity, but for the sake of Yuigahama. The poor girl has seen enough today.

"Yukinon. I want to go. I don't want to be here anymore."

Her words break the spell that seemingly snared me. Free from the horrifying thoughts I try to finally collect myself so that I, we, can leave. You don't want to be here anymore? I think I can understand that.

Yuigahama, neither do I.

As we leave, I take a moment to moment to reflect on my behavior. My thoughts that seemed so important at the moment that I was willing to throw away so much. All for a feeling I'd never felt before. What was that feeling I wonder?

Ah… who am I fooling?

I know what this feeling was. It was lust.

Lust for Hikigaya Hachiman. Oh how the mighty have fallen.

* * *

( **Orimoto)**

What. Did. I. Just. Do.

That was _not_ my fault, right?

I mean, his whole rant was sooooo sad. It made _me_ really sad. I got so overwhelmed… I think I messed up here. Do I apologize? Not that stupid! How could I apologize after that!? 'Oh gee Hikigaya, sorry for shoving my tongue down your throat, whoops, I'm such a klutz!'

Oh he's gotta hate me now.

…Or maybe he doesn't. I mean, he didn't seem opposed to my actions. In fact...

Hehe.

I think I just figured something out. I think I just figured _someone_ out.

After all, if he was mad he would have said something right? He hasn't said anything. He hasn't moved since we… since I… since _whatever_ that was.

In fact, what was that? Why did I do that? I was in the moment and I just kind of acted. I don't think it was a bad thing however. Maybe I should try again… just to make sure you knoooow?

"Hikigaya."

I almost jumped at the sound of my own words. My voice was quiet, but the alleyway was empty and it sounded as loud as a gunshot to me.

"Yeah?"

If my words were quiet, then his were simply murmurs in the wind.

It seemed like he was unable to look up at me. That's actually kinda cute. Are you _trying_ to seduce me Hikigaya, or are you just naturally like this?

"Are you okay? I want… I want to say s-sorry. But that feels untrue. I'm not really sorry. You were saying some horrible things. I just wanted to make you stop it. I didn't want to tell you to shut up, so I just kinda acted. You're right, I had a lot of time to think about this. I know what I want. I'm _sure_ about what I want. But after you said it, I realized that I haven't given you the same luxury. I think maybe that was truly unfair of me."

He didn't say anything as I plowed along. I guess I don't really expect him to. What could he say?

"That being said, I wouldn't say that I regret what I did. And m-maybe, I'd like to try again. Just to make sure I don't regret _anything_."

His shoulders shook as I finished my sentence. Was he crying?! Oh god, I misjudged this situation didn't I? Please no! No, no, no! I'm sorry Hikigaya!

"Hikigaya, look at me."

Perhaps I was being a bit aggressive. But not really that aggressive, at least compared to the last 15 minutes. I needed to know though. I had to make sure that this wasn't a mistake. I liked it. I wanted more of it.

His continued silence was worrying. Like, really worrying.

Before I could stop myself, I found my fingers snaking out away from me. Grabbing his chin with two fingers, I lifted his head up so I could get a sense of him. There was less resistance than I had expected. As his head raised to meet mine, I saw an undecipherable expression on his face.

He was beet red, eyes downcast. It was like he was holding back a flood of emotions, and not doing a very good job of it. He looked like the survivor of some natural disaster. All he needed was to be covered in a blanket and shivering in front of a news-reporter to complete the look. Did I do this to him?

"Hikigaya. Please. Look at me."

The time that passed between those words and him shifting his gaze to meet mine felt like an eternity. I was scared of what I would see in his eyes. Would it be rage and hatred? Part of me wants him to hate me. I took his first kiss without asking, who could just forgive that? Another part, the dominant part, wanted the opposite. I wanted eyes dripping with lust and desire, I wanted to see that he'd move mountains to do that again.

What I got was something… in-between.

I could see his sheepishness. He looked lost and confused, like someone who wasn't sure where he was or what he was doing. I saw something else as well. I saw why he wouldn't look at me. His eyes told the story of what he wouldn't, couldn't, say to me. I saw in his eyes a boy who knew exactly what he wanted. I saw a hunger in them that a million Saize places couldn't sake. And those eyes looked at _me_. They locked on _me_.

"Hikigaya, are you okay?"

Still no response. I know what I saw, but he still can't seem to get the words out.

"Hikigaya… was that bad? Was I wrong to do that?"

"No"

Almost inaudible, I finally got a response.

While I wanted to jump for joy, I needed to use this opportunity. Words I was somewhat ashamed of oozed out of me.

"So does that mean it was good?"

He didn't seem quite able verbalize his answer. I saw his head move up and down. Just a small nod.

There must be something wrong with me, but I _liked_ the power I seemed to have over him.

Something took over me at that point. I felt my mind going blank, and an animalistic purpose took hold of my body.

I slowly closed the gap between us, the distance between our faces was functionally nothing. After locking eyes with me he hadn't broken our gaze. Even now he seemed to be unable to look away. His face was flushed, redder than I thought was possible. The air was chilly, but teeming with aromas I was only now noticing. The wafting scent of dinners coming from the restaurant; fragrances of freshly baked breads from down the street; the sweat and desire of the boy in front of me. I felt momentarily overwhelmed by how beautiful the world around me was. I relished it all, I wanted this perfect moment to never end; to stretch endless throughout all of time. I stopped my approach millimeters away from his lips.

He's so close… His breath is so warm…

I felt him tense up as I halted my approach. Oh? Is it bothering you Hikigaya? What do you want me to do?

As though answering my unasked question, I felt an arm wrap around my waist.

It was not a smooth, Casanova-esque maneuver; it was done shakily. The boy who initiated it unsure and scared of his movements. Scared that that he might spook his partner, but understanding that he had to give some reassurance that he liked what was happening. It seemed that he still did not trust his voice.

Don't worry Hikigaya, you don't need to speak right now.

I know what to do.

All of a sudden I found my way across those final millimeters towards his lips again. And it was _good._

* * *

 **(8Man)**

I honestly don't know how long we stayed like that. I feel like I lost any and all sense of time in the darkness behind the restaurant.

As I pulled myself away for some much needed air, I felt my phone vibrate. Apparently someone needed to get in contact with me. Why? I've gone entire summers without someone mailing me. Why is it the case, _now_ of all times that I'm being bothered?

That's a bit unfair I suppose, I never like being bothered.

I can already feel Orimoto's fingers on my neck pulling me back towards her. I know I need to speak now, or be drawn back into the depths by her siren call.

"Ah, wait. I've got a message." I manage to stammer out.

The pout spreading across her face is discouraging, but if someone spent the effort to contact me then it's probably important.

Fishing my phone out of my pocket, my jaw dropped in shock. 13 missed messages!? How in Icefrog's name did that happen?

Looking deeper into this, I find that all of them all from my dear little sister. As I read each one I can feel the increasingly desperate mood as I get closer to the most recent one. What started as a simple check-in on her part seems to be full blown panic at this point. Komachi, while I appreciate your dedication to ensuring your dearest brothers' safety; 13 messages is a bit much I think. After all, it's only…

One A.M.!?

No! That's impossible! That means I've been out for almost 5 hours? Maybe there's an error on phone's clock?

"Uhh, Orimoto… what does your phone have for the time?"

"Eh? I don't know."

"Can you check for me?"

She heaved a large sigh, finally unhooking her fingers from the back of my neck. It was only then that I realized how sore I was. My legs felt like jello, my back was on fire, and honestly I was kinda light headed from a definitive lack of oxygen.

As she searched for her phone, I took a moment to actually read the most recent message I'd received from my sister.

"Onii-chan! Komachi is worried about you! If you don't respond to this in 5 minutes I'm calling the cops!"

Well, fuck.

I hastily replied back with an apology and assurance that I was okay, and that I had lost track of time. I knew I was going to be in for a long lecture when I returned home. Oh and an absolute barrage of questions. I was not looking forward to that, not in the slightest.

A sharp intake of breath and muttered curse next to me alerted me to the fact that my phone was likely not malfunctioning.

"Ha, so Hikigaya… I think we lost track of time. We should probably head back now?"

"Yeah… my sister may kill me though."

Orimoto giggled slightly at my words. Taking my hand, she lead me out of the alleyway. Well she tried to anyway. I stumbled somewhat trying to follow her. Not at all my fault, I'd been standing functionally still for _hours_. Oh god, it had been hours hadn't it?

"Not too steady on your feet eh Hikigaya?"

"…Shut up. I've been stationary a while." I realized as I said this, that I had a lost a lot of ground today. Time to go on the offensive and take a little back.

"Seems like you're fine though, maybe you're just more experienced with this sort of situation."

Orimoto whirled around to face me. More than a little bit of fire burning in her eyes.

"And just what are trying to say Hikigaya?"

Some men might have been cowed by a sudden burst of anger like that, but I'm not 'some men'. After all, I'd spent the last few hours under her spell. I felt like I knew her pretty well, or at least _a lot_ better than I had just yesterday. Besides, I had the advantage for the first time all night, I wasn't going to let this slip away so easily.

"Well, I'm certainly tired and sore from being shoved up against a wall. I'd think the more aggressive party would feel even more tired. Unless they had more experience with this sort of thing…"

Ah, how I love implication.

"Ah, so now you're feeling talkative? Hilarious!"

As she finished that sentence she smiled. A row of pearly whites, directed at me. I felt myself all at once captivated by her again. She really was something else.

No more words were needed at that time. I felt comfortable, and the easy silence between us as we walked seemed to indicate that she was happy too. As we reached her house she turned to look at me.

"So… this was kinda weird." Oh really Orimoto? Are you just now noticing this? "But I think it was good. On the whole I'd give it an 8 out of 10."

"Yeah. I guess it was alright." I quipped back.

I felt a light punch to arm, and looked down to see her close again. I wasn't exactly sure what to expect, but I saw her lean in and I closed my eyes. A light peck on the cheek was all I received though.

"Goodnight Hikigaya. Let's do this again sometime soon." Her smile was somewhere between endearing cute and mischievously wicked.

"Hmmmm, I may be able to fit you into my schedule."

And with that she smiled once more at me, and left to sneak into her house.

I felt the spot on my cheek where she'd planted her last kiss. Relatively chaste compared to the rest of the night. Then again, walking into a love-hotel at 2 in the morning would be relatively chaste compared to how I spent my night.

Did I really do that? Did all that actually happen? I think it did… it's all kinda of a blur.

Ugh. Am I damn raiju bastard now?

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.**

 **So I've been missing for like a month. Please PM me convincing excuses as to why that is. Because currently the best I've got is a combo of writers' block, and work being pretty serious. I also may have been playing a lot of DOTA2.**

 **Honestly it was the Orimoto section that took like 3 fucking weeks to finish. Yukino & Hikigaya I did in a day. Someone had mentioned that Orimoto was uncharacteristically clever/thoughtful/insightful, and they were kinda right. So I tried to go with a slightly more accurate portrayal.**

 **Anyway, I'm going to try and figure out a better way to schedule writing into my week. My goal is to try and get a chapter out at bare minimum every 2 weeks, but it can be challenging obviously.**

 **I'd like to thank you all for the support and love you've shown. The reviews really are super awesome for convincing me to get off my lazy ass and update.**

 **Til next time!**

 **-BWAM**


End file.
